Colorado officials plan to go after DU turkeys for ruining Vail with their poop

If it’s anywhere near the Vail Mountain Resort, it’ll have to go.

Lucky for you, we have the perfect course in mind for when that special someone, who’s really not dependable (but has some kind of romantic connection), gets into this mess that’s all their own. For the past three years, geese have been out in full force in the area, pooping from the gondola and on the ground, leaving the Resort community to scramble for answers.

Lo and behold, Vail officials have found an answer to its poop-train, and it’s an idea everyone in the Boulder area can get behind: the geese porta-potty.

The enormous potty, made of redwood posts, neoprene tubing and a metal frame attached to a boom, will look like this:

According to The Denver Post, the plan is to build the pooper-scooper over several months and get it in place by October.

There’s more: the Veggies will also stick around for another year or so to keep the place running, so don’t even think about tempting Vail with your drunken Game of Thrones marathon.

Still, you can’t help but think of the all the happy people that never could have a place to pee.

In addition to the porta-potty, the Resort plans to use the poop product to clean up the mountain. From the Post:

An initial plan would focus on cleaning our on-snow trails as they will help reduce litter, create a healthier environment for wildlife and create a beautiful window into the extreme nature of our mountains. So we’re going to start by cleaning up our trails to open up the view we all deserve. Once we establish a habit of recycling the old snow from our groomed ski trails, it will be easy to catch that high nutrient snowfall all year long.

So good luck, budding geese, and look for your next act of good service here at Denver Post Statehood.

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